What to Say to Your Team After a Big Loss
“Your team doesn’t need you to help them cut down the nets.”
Mike Neighbors, Head Women’s Basketball Coach, The University of Arkansas
But…
Your team needs their head coach after a big loss.
Based on the latest statistics, 92 out of the top 100 most-watched television shows in 2023 were live sports events. This is due to the exciting nature of sports games and their ability to serve as the ultimate reality shows. Sports games are full of dynamic moments and ups and downs that keep viewers engaged. However, after a long and hard-fought battle between two teams, the team that fell short needs to hear from their leader - their head coach.
What do you say to a team that is looking to you for comfort after a loss?
In this article, we will cover two situations: after a big loss but there is still some season left to play, and after a loss that ends the season.
In 2023, I took over as the head coach for the Greenville High School football program on August 3rd. We literally installed the offense at 12:01 a.m. three days later at their annual 'Midnight Madness' start to fall camp with the cheerleaders, the drill team and band also in attendance and 200+ in the stands watching. I knew when I accepted the position there would be post-game conversations where I would stand before them and attempt to make a loss less painful, give them a reason to keep fighting the next week and most importantly give them hope.
"A leader is a dealer in hope."
Napoleon Bonaparte
Four things a head coach should say to his or her team after a loss with games remaining:
"After each game there are winners and learners. Although we did not win tonight, we will use this as a learning opportunity. Our coaching staff will go through the film, identify our errors, and come up with a plan to fix them by Monday. We won't waste this loss by feeling sorry for ourselves. Instead, we will closely examine it and work towards improvement. By the end of the season, we will look back at this loss as a turning point that helped us reach the championship."
"Most games are won by the team that puts in the most effort. We need to evaluate our own effort and make a conscious decision to give more. This applies not only to the players, but to the coaches as well. We all need to step up and give more. The way we practice is the way we play, so we need to commit to giving more effort during our practice sessions. I believe we will be able to do this, and I am excited to see us have our best practice of the year on Monday."
The head coach should demonstrate vulnerability and take some of the responsibility for the team's loss. They could say something like, "There are many reasons why we lost tonight, but I want you all to know that it starts with me as your head coach. I didn't perform at my best this week during practice or at the game tonight. I promise to do better and be the best head coach in the state next week, and I won't let you down again."
Show your team Jocko's "Good". This two-minute video reinforces resilincey and grit. I've used it more than once on a Monday to let our team know we are ok, in fact, "good" that we lost. Something positive is about to happen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdTMDpizis8
WHEN THE SEASON ENDS WITH A LOSS
In 1991, Tenaha High School's head boys' basketball coach (my father) was Raymond Jackson, who led the team to the Texas "Final Four" in Austin. In the game, Tenaha played against Moulton High School and found themselves falling behind by more than 20 points in the first half. However, they managed to fight their way back and tie the score with less than a minute to play. One of the Tenaha players grabbed a rebound and started dribbling up the court. After passing half-court, he called a timeout, not realizing that the team had already used all their timeouts. As a result, the official called a technical foul on the Tigers, and Moulton made both free throws. They had possession of the ball and won the game.
After the game, Coach Jackson took responsibility for the mistake, telling the media that it was his fault. He said, "I always save a timeout for those types of situations. My players know they can call a timeout late in the game." In reality, Tenaha wouldn't have been able to make a comeback without using timeouts earlier in the game. However, Jackson did not want his players to feel responsible for the loss and took the blame upon himself.
"Would you rather have not gotten here? If I were Coach Shanihan, I would have asked my guys this after their Super Bowl loss. "Would you rather be the Lions we beat last week? They've had a week to get over the conference championship loss. No, we all know the answer. Be proud we were here tonight, I am."
"It's already tomorrow in Australia, and the sun is rising. We will be ok. Tomorrow, the sun will appear, we will dust off our boots, regroup and be ok.
"Thank you for all of your hard work this season. Coaching this team has been an absolute pleasure, and I have loved every minute of it. To the seniors, I cannot predict where you will be in the next five or ten years, but one thing is for sure - you will be winning. The doors to our fieldhouse and weight room will always be open for you. Thank you for being a Lion; you will always be a Lion."
After the final game of the season, while we are still on the field, I have the seniors form a line. Then, the coaching staff and underclassmen go one by one, hug and thank them for their efforts and leadership during the season. This is an emotional moment that becomes a cherished memory for all of us.
Being a coach is a big responsibility. Your words have a the power to bring comfort and uplift a team. When the game is over they don't need you to help them lift the trophy, but they do need when the team across the field is lifting it. Be ready and have a plan.
